nathanjunker.com » Magazine http://nathanjunker.com Fri, 08 May 2009 19:27:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8 en hourly 1 © redcowboyhat@nathanjunker.com () redcowboyhat@nathanjunker.com() redcowboyhat@nathanjunker.com No no http://nathanjunker.com/wp-content/plugins/podpress/images/powered_by_podpress.jpg nathanjunker.com http://nathanjunker.com 144 144 the Grown-up Table http://nathanjunker.com/2007/03/21/the-grown-up-table/ http://nathanjunker.com/2007/03/21/the-grown-up-table/#comments Wed, 21 Mar 2007 14:37:09 +0000 redcowboyhat http://nathanjunker.com/?p=65 from the new yorker via ysmarko

A Conversation at the Grownup Table, as Imagined at the Kids’ Table
by simon rich

MOM: Pass the wine, please. I want to become crazy.

DAD: O.K.

GRANDMOTHER: Did you see the politics? It made me angry.

DAD: Me, too. When it was over, I had sex.

UNCLE: I’m having sex right now.

DAD: We all are.

MOM: Let’s talk about which kid I like the best.

DAD: (laughing) You know, but you won’t tell.

MOM: If they ask me again, I might tell.

FRIEND FROM WORK: Hey, guess what! My voice is pretty loud!

DAD: (laughing) There are actual monsters in the world, but when my kids ask I pretend like there aren’t.

MOM: I’m angry! I’m angry all of a sudden!

DAD: I’m angry, too! We’re angry at each other!

MOM: Now everything is fine.

DAD: We just saw the PG-13 movie. It was so good.

MOM: There was a big sex.

FRIEND FROM WORK: I am the loudest! I am the loudest!

(Everybody laughs.)

MOM: I had a lot of wine, and now I’m crazy!

GRANDFATHER: Hey, do you guys know what God looks like?

ALL: Yes.

GRANDFATHER: Don’t tell the kids.

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