Christianity: As Misunderstood by Geeks
I had to smile at this interpretation of the message of Christianity:
The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
In geek-speak in sounds crazy, yet it is close to the truth. Here’s the translation from geek-speak to Christianese:
cosmic: from beyond earth, outside our galaxy/universe, transcendent God
zombie: body returned to life, resurrection
cosmic Jewish zombie: Jesus Christ, 2nd Person of the Trinity
live forever: eternal life in heaven
symbolically eat-flesh: eucharist, communion, Lord’s Supper
telepathy: prayer
accept as master: accept Jesus as Lord & Savior
evil force in soul: original sin
rib-woman: Eve
talking snake: Satan
magical tree: Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil
Complete Translation to Christianese:
The belief that the transcendent God, incarnate in Jesus Christ, was raised from the dead can give you eternal life in heaven if you remember his sacrifice in partaking of the Lord’s Supper and pray, telling him that you accept him as your Lord and Savior, so he can remove original sin from your soul that is present in humanity because Eve was convinced by Satan to eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
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